The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party and The Jew

I have never been to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party.  I have never been to Christmas party for that matter.  I grew up in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, joined a predominantly Jewish sorority in college, and moved to a predominantly Jewish neighborhood when I had kids so the opportunity never arose.  The majority of my friends have always been Jewish.  Until now.  Four and a half years ago, I moved to a quaint country town where the landscape was abound rolling hills, and on top of one sat a synagogue, but the Jewish population was not even a full one percent of the neighborhood.  The friendships I developed were with people of different backgrounds, beliefs, and religions - how wonderful for me!  We get to share in each other's holiday traditions; I get to teach their children how to play dreidel and they, in turn, they invite me to join in their Christmas festivities.

My evite arrived a few weeks ago, so I had plenty of time to hunt for an ugly Christmas sweater... or so I thought.  I've seen photos of them on Facebook and in old movies, but I had no idea where to get one.  I thought I would visit a thrift shop, but the thought of digging through the piles of sweaters to find the perfect one seemed overwhelming, so I took to the only place I knew I could find the perfect sweater - eBay.  On a hopping Saturday night, I sat by my computer and found the perfect sweater vest, complete with Santa, reindeer, and elf appliques, sequins, and holly leaf buttons.  I sat vigil by the screen until I entered my bid with 15 seconds left and swiftly won my first ugly sweater auction!

There was an identical one on auction ending 20 minutes later, and 20 minutes later, I snagged it!  My husband and I would go as twinsies.   I was set, or so I thought.  Those shipping dates can be slow and one sweater arrived 2 days later, but the other hadn't arrived.  I waited with baited breath for the mailman to come on the day of the party.  It was a snowy day and the mail was late, but finally arrived at 4:30.  No sweater.  Crap!  The party was in 2 1/2 hours and I had nothing to wear.  Not only did I not have an ugly Christmas sweater for my first Ugly Christmas Sweater party, I didn't have a nice Christmas sweater, or even a red or green sweater to fake it.  But this glitch in the plan was not going to stop this kamikaze crafting Jew from enjoying her first Christmas party.  To the craft room!

I had just donated a pile of sweaters earlier in the week, so I didn't have one I was willing to sacrifice for the night.  Since my husband got to wear the authentic ugly sweater, I thought it only fair of him to donate one of his to my cause.  I took the big, black, fuzzy, non-Christmas sweater and got to work.  If ever a day to have glitter, this would have been it, but alas, I despise the stuff so I had to look further.  I pulled out fabrics and and came up with a Christmas-themed idea.  I looked all over my craft room for supplies, but it was time to pull out the big guns - my daughter's crap collection (aka her treasures).

I found small toys, mis-matched socks, and Mardi Gras beads from the last Bar Mitzvah we attended and got to work.  I made a "Stockings hung by the chimney with care" themed sweater.  I took scraps of fabric left over from shadow box orders, some felt from a school project, a little ribbon, and my handy-dandy glue gun and put together this masterpiece:

I found some small LED lights that I used at my 40th birthday and hooked them to the Mardi Gras beads and lit them up for the party.  I added mini toys to the "stockings," including a red and white striped zebra, a stuffed dog, and as an homage to my people, a couple of dreidels.

Once the sweater was complete, it was time to make the guacamole and jump into the shower and head out to the party.  My husband put on his sweater, and as the good sport that he is, he allowed me to dress him up in a ladies' turtleneck and add sound buttons to his sweater.  When pressed, they played 10 seconds of Christmas music (and one Chanukkah song).

We had a great time at the party, checking out all of the sweaters and taking our very first photo in front of a Christmas tree.  As the night went on and the Christmas music played and the drinks flowed, the host and hostess passed out secret ballots to vote for the best Ugly Christmas Sweater in the women's and men's categories.  As the drum roll drummed and the first place for Men's Ugliest Sweater was announced, my husband was victorious!  I was happy for him because he really got into it, playing his musical sweater for anyone willing to listen.  And then it was time to announce the first place sweater in the women's category.  To my surprise, it was me!  I really was shocked because mine was thrown together and not an actual Christmas sweater, but I guess it was ugly enough to win.  How ironic - the Jews swept the contest!